Sudirman Gramedia's Story
An old article about someone who knows where. I'm still here and not going anywhere. I hope you enjoy reading. There was no wind, no storm; before my eyes fell asleep, I had time to write in my diary. I have yet to write a word about you. Why? Because slowly, I will forget. However, it's not instant and takes time. Time continues; it doesn't feel like there's been any news about you for almost three years.; I'm trying to hold back and not find out. Even though the reality is that old memories are still the winners.
I was stunned. What should I do? Trying to forget? Even though we don't have anything. It's just a competitive rival. In fact, in this world, there is no such thing as "coincidence," right? I hope you believe it.
Two years ago, my friend, also your friend, gave me the news as if that was a signal I could pick up. You accidentally met me at my favorite bookstore, Gramedia Sudirman. I am curious how long your conversation lasted; you have been accepted to work at a government agency. In my heart, I congratulate you; you deserve to be in that position. My friend also told me that maybe it was the last meeting before you set foot on the land of the capital city.
I need some clarification about what to do. That news was the latest news I wanted to hear. Even though I felt uncomfortable, I told my friends not to discuss anything about you; I just let this be the topic of conversation for the last time. He also apologized if he offended me, and I said no problem. Then he said, are there any other (boys, re: substitutes)? I emphasize that I am still becoming a better person; I don't forget to insert a laughing emoticon (even though my heart doesn't feel right). Gramedia, as if you were a silent witness to that meeting.
Year after year, my way turned out to be merciless. I cut all social media that related to you, one of which was Instagram. The last news I heard was that you won the 2021 international paper yesterday. I also participated as a delegate to ICIEF ISEF. We have different sessions; not one frame is zoomed in. I admit you are great; your greatness motivates me to be equal to you, even under separate roofs and addresses. I'm sure that right now, you are probably still drowning in a sea of work and preparations to continue your master's studies in Europe, specifically in England. I also dreamed that I could feel the cold snow, the beauty of a garden in spring. Let's agree.
Today, I'm scared; the image of you in last night's dream feels real. I want to say hello, but I can't. I should have understood that dreams are still dreams like sleeping flowers. But did you know? I don't want my feelings to come true again. When you were in Halmahera, I dreamed of you amid an earthquake storm; it felt genuine. It's extraordinary; it's surprising that even though there has been no communication for a long time, the bad news through dreams makes me not understand. Why does it have to be you? The morning after waking up, an earthquake was indeed there. Initially, I contacted your group of friends who came from Magelang. He said it was fine. Safe. However, feeling dissatisfied, I dared to contact you. The signal there is complex there. Finally, I'm relieved, luckily you're fine. If I told you that I dreamed about you last night, you wouldn't believe it. But I can stand it.
Not without reason; some signals come through dreams. This time, I couldn't move or catch last night's dream; whether it was good or bad, I didn't even understand. Your image feels very real in front of me. Finally, prayer is my last hope. May Allah SWT always protect you, even though I don't know the situation. I hope my dream is not absolute, just an illusion. Apart from that, thank you for being in my life. It gives me new colors and space when I study. One of my supporters without you knowing. It may seem trivial, but this is all God's power.
Did you know that our blood type is the same? When you were in college, you qualified for a scholarship awardee at almost the same time (I was BI, you were RK), and on November 24, 2019, you went to Malaysia to attend an international call for papers while I presented a call for essays at your campus. One more thing, if there are similarities in the past, remember that nothing is a coincidence. May your path be made more accessible and your work and studies smooth. There is no grudge at all. Trying to let yourself be is one solution. Lastly, I hope you meet the right person.
Jogja (Sept 13/22)
